Age gap of four years is ideal for successful marriage

A recent research at the University of Vienna says that the most successful marriages are those where the man is four to six years older than the woman. After going through a database of more than 10,000 men and women, the study concluded that this age difference is ideal for the couple as it carries a reproductive advantage. For men, the average number of children increased with a decrease in the age of their partners. Similarly, for women too, the average number of children rose as their partners grew older than them.

Conventionally, many cultures have supported such marriages. If we leave out the reproductive advantage, what can be the social, emotional and psychological repercussion of such relationships? A number of young beauties have fallen for older men and in some cases, men old enough to be their fathers.

Experts agree that since girls mature faster than boys, they find themselves mentally compatible with a life partner who is older.

"An older man is wiser, well settled, more sensitive and understanding. Girls often want someone from whom they can learn something and admire. Life partners of the same age can often be jealous of each other, whereas an older man is financially and socially more stable. He is more likely to promote his wife's career," says Ketaki Sharma, a media person.

Shagufta Tufail, a school teacher who is 12 years younger than her husband says, "Older men make better life partners because they are mature and understanding."

Actress Archana Puran Singh, who is older than her husband Parmeet Sethi, however calls the research "ridiculous".

"Each marriage is different. It is entirely for the couple to see how they can make the marriage work. It's immaterial whether the husband is younger or older. Age difference can never break or strengthen a bond like marriage. There are so many other contributing factors that decide whether the marriage will be a happy or unhappy one," she says.

Agrees former Miss India Meher Bhasin. "At the end of day when you come back home, all you want is a loving companion. If the couple can handle their relationship well, it will be smooth sailing and it really doesn't matter if the man is younger or older. What is more important is what they feel about each other and not their age difference," she adds.

Psychiatrist Sameer Parikh supports her views. "Irrespective of his age, a man can be a good husband. I don't attribute the success or failure of a marriage to age. It is more about the chemistry they share," he says.

Some like Payal Kapoor, an event manager feels that such relationships do not work in the long run and ‘age' does takes its toll.

Says Payal, "Age difference can become a problem. The wife may soon get bored of the ‘father figure' she was once in awe of. The husband might also be jealous of his wife's friends who are of her age. People of the same age group bond better as they have more in common."